We get it. You’re a macho, manly man. You don’t cry at soppy movies. That’s great. The process, ceremonies and rituals surrounding engagement, however, will still bring a tear to your eye and a plethora of emotion. We guarantee it. Of course, you’ll feel joy at pledging your commitment to someone, but there’s a lot more to it than that, and a lot of it will surround the ring and what it symbolises. Here are some tips to help you survive the roller coaster.
Firstly, you’ll get to know more about jewellery then any sane individual wants to, male or female. That goes twofold if you’re opting for the traditional surprise engagement ring rather than the more modern couples shopping trip. From finding out exactly what your partner’s personal style is [even an exquisite platinum ring is going to fall flat if they only wear gold] to making sure that you don’t get fleeced making the expensive investment, and learning how to gauge the worth of the gemstones and metals you’re picking, to checking makers marks, it’s all coming. Be prepared. They may have a beautiful platinum solitaire ring pinned to a Pinterest board to make your life easier, but chances are you’ll have to do some sleuthing.
In this day and age, the permission thing will feel very awkward, especially if you’re a non-traditional couple. It sounds easy, but it isn’t. If you’re enough of a traditionalist you have to have this part done, then suck it up and dive in- it won’t get easier. At this point, you may want to solicit advice and empathy from those in your social circle who’ve done this before. That same experience may help with the tiring shopping too. You may feel the need to consult with the friends of your partner too. Of course, as someone considering taking a huge leap into forever with this person, you should know their tastes and likes pretty well yourself, but it’s a great way to gauge the other side of your partner, whether anything’s caught their eye recently, or whether they’ve expressed any hopes and dreams towards the big day and the ring.
But ultimately, remember that it’s not all about what they think you want. The effort isn’t all that will count. You need to remember that you’re giving this ring as a gift. Yes, it’s your money paying, and you planning the day, but the person you’re giving it too is the one who’ll be wearing the ring and walking life’s road with you. Think about them and what they like and would but when you set out to pick the ring, not just the advice of friends, family and your own tastes, no matter how well meant it all was.
Diamonds are diamonds are diamonds. Yes, there’s a lot of hype about them, but ultimately they are rocks. Remember that. You need to learn your ‘4Cs’ of picking- cut, clarity, color and carat- and make sure you’re getting both what you’re supposed to be getting [you want independent auditing on diamonds of one carat and higher, and certification to prove it] and that you’re getting the right price for it. Study up and know your facts, or get independent advice from someone who does. Don’t be put off looking at bespoke ring options. It often seems like commissioning a ring will be both expensive and difficult, but it’s not really any worse than buying an off the shelf design- and it’s a lot more special. But more than that, choose something that symbolizes what it’s meant to do- your love and devotion, not a host of silly marketing.